I didn’t get back to Nerina.  I spoke with my mentor about the Stiletto contest, and she suggested I put Nerina and Brody on hold, since the Stiletto has a deadline.

The last couple of days have been interesting.  I’ve been brainstorming my new idea and learning tons over at the Q&A on divas, with the chick lit authors.

I’ve realized that I’ve prejudged the genre.  Those bubblegum pink covers definitely mislead.  Plus, the notion is that since chick lit is “dead”, it is actually evolving, and there is a chance to help steer the direction it travels.

I’ve also remembered that chick lit involves the heroine’s journey, which I love.  I prefer writing first person, even though I do enjoy the romance.  We’ll see.  I really need to learn to not care which “genre” I write in.  I just don’t want to sub something to NY that is not a part of what I want to write for years to come.

Do you ever wish you weren’t as creative as you are?

LOL, crazy I know, but then I wouldn’t get new story ideas as often.  Actually the one that is spinning in my head isn’t very new.  Last year, when I considered writing chick lit, I came up with a premise.  I never expanded on it, and put it on the back burner for “some day”.  Well, yesterday was that day.

So, here’s the deal.

Last year, I entered, finaled and won second in the Stiletto contest.  It was with V3 (Vows, Voices & Voodoo), my first attempt at chick lit.  Come to find out, according to the Bantam editor, it was exactly chick lit, but it was light, and I got so many raves on it, not including the contest win.

I then spent a good portion of the next 4 months not know what the hell to do.  Should I write light?  Dark?  What if I can’t write dark as well as light?  I prefer dark, or I’ve always dreamed of writing dark and love to read and watch it.  I drove  myself, and everyone around me, crazy.

I finally just had to stop.  I stuffed my light half in a closet and concentrated on the dark.  The closet door seeped open last night, and while I refuse to ponder the question of “dark or light?”, I am allowing myself to consider entering the contest again this year.  Why, if I don’t write chick lit exactly or am concentrating on dark?   ‘Cause I’m a sucker for this contest.  And unlike last year when I entered with an entry I had no clue how would pan out, this time my idea is semi-solid (semi only in it’s not concrete yet, but will be by time of the deadline).

So, today, I have not written TOD, but I have been outlining/brainstorming this new idea.  Tomorrow I will get back to Nerina and her near mental breakdown.  It’s taxing writing all these damn emotions.  For today, I will bask in that neon pink glow and work on these zany characters.  Oooh, I just had an idea.  My hero could be a mystery author.  Hmm…

My son was invited to a neighbor child’s birthday party today. The child is a year younger than my son, a girl, and someone he plays with. He is closer to a neighbor boy, but this little girl is one of those children that makes herself the center of everything. And God forbid, if others don’t too. We weren’t handed an invitation, like the other neighbors. No, the mother said my son could go AFTER her daughter asked, with my son by her side. What could the mother say? So, he runs over to me, all excited, asking if he could go. Last year, the little boy had a party he was NOT invited to. Do you remember what that feels like? Do you know what it feels like for me, the mom?

Well, I called the birthday mama to validate the invite. She said yes, and that my daughter and myself could come too. They were having a cook-out and it was from 1-3. Fine.

After some consideration (I hate these adults sooo much, but will try to do what is best for my kids), I started to wonder if we should go. I discussed it with my son. This would’ve been his first birthday party. He believed he would go and get to play with the girl the entire time. LOL, poor, naive child. She invited many kids, supposedly, and knowing this child, it wouldn’t happen.

After some talk, we all decided we did not want to attend. (I wasn’t going regardless. *shudders*) I gave my son a choice which involved a long story. Suffice to say, I truly do not have the money to buy her a gift. My son’s birthday is in one month, and I have to get our cat neutered. So, we planned to have a party of our own.

I went to the store this morning and added snack cakes and chips to my grocery list, plus hot dogs and pizza crust, and more. We spent about 5 hours playing board games, eating, laughing hysterically and just being goofy. It was the best damn party I’ve ever been to.

Well, today, Nerina and Brody have their first face-to-face in over four years.  She was surprised at first, then, for a moment, she allowed herself to believe he was there just to see how she was doing.  That quickly faded when she learned he only needed a question asked, in relation to a story he’s writing.  Needless to say, she became rather angry.

9 pages is what it equaled.  Well actually 10, but 1 I wrote yesterday.

I notice I tend to jump things.  In a rush to put down everything I see or hear, etc. I overlook the emotions a lot.  I kept that in mind and tried to go slow for this scene.  I think it turned out ok.  It may need more layering later on, but it felt pretty complete.

It took me all day though.  And I still hate writing physical descriptions, cause they come out as a laundry list, and sexual arousal, because it comes out sounding fake or forced.  Grrrr!  The arousal I believe comes from fear.  I believe I can’t write good sex scenes, so anything that relates must fall under the same category, hence, a forced scene.  I’m not too worried though.  I will learn.

So yesterday, I felt like writing nadda.  I brainstormed the new book Tuesday night, and woke up Wednesday morning with it on my brain.  It resulted in my not thinking of much else.  And on top of this, the scene I should have written yesterday wasn’t coming to me.  It was boring, until the last couple of sentences–or was going to be.  Brody follows the lawyer and where he ends up makes Brody curious, but the actual following is snooze city.  Instead of writing it, I started the next scene, when Nerina heads back to the office and spies Griffin talking with some stranger.  But I had trouble wrapping my head around them and away from Aubrey, Nick, Laurel and Tori.

I managed to write 2 pages and gave up.  So, today meant double duty.  I brainstormed more last night and woke up this morning fitting in another puzzle piece, but I was determined to work past it–to see if I could.  Like, “do I have the ability to be a genuine, professional writer” or “will I continue to not meet personal goals and therefore not meet professional ones some day”?

So, I pushed away Aubrey and the gang and concentrated on Nerina.  I finished her scene with Griffin, then went back and “wrote” Brody following the lawyer.  It only ended up being two pages, which is fine, and I guess I could go back and layer in almost losing him or something semi-exciting, but it would only be filler and not pertinent to the story.

But either way, I wrote 7 pages today–wahoo!  And my next scene is Nerina and Brody meeting face to face for the first time in four years.  I really need to make this one full of all the anger, arousal and sadness Nerina is feeling upon seeing him.

Now I’m able to get back to Aubrey and the gang.  I can finally write down what came to me this morning.  If I still remember it.

I’m really glad things worked out how they did today.  I learned just what I have in me, and I likie!!!